Your Ex... Keychain

Meet the ‘Your Ex’ Keychain. A tiny crystal penis keychain that’s just as disappointing and unnecessary as your former flame. Perfect for those moments when you need a laugh or a reminder of what NOT to go back to.

Pocket-Sized: It’s small, just like his… emotional maturity. Yeah, let’s go with that.

Keychain Perfection: Attach it to your keys, your Unhinged bag, or anywhere you need a very tiny… little… reminder of what you put up with.

Made of Crystal: Because healing starts with laughing at how low your standards once were.

You get what you’re given: Oh, so now you care about making good choices? Bold move for someone who picks men like they’re ordering from the Maccas drive-through. The Oracle’s got this one, babe.

Every time you grab your keys, you’ll remember: you deserve better than someone who still gets his mummy to do his laundry and sends “u up?” snaps at 2 a.m.

Pro tip: Give one to your bestie—it’s the perfect gag gift for her terrible taste in men too. Buy one now and carry around the only thing your ex ever had to offer: a joke for your friends.